A father passing by his teenage daughter’s bedroom was astonished to
see the bed was nicely made and
everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up
prominently on the centre of the pillow. It
was addressed “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope
and read the letter with trembling
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you, but I’m
leaving home . I had to elope with my new
boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Randy
and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you’ll like him too
– even with all his piercing,
tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion Dad, I’m
pregnant and Randy said that he wants
me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though
Randy is much older than me
(anyway, 42 isn’t so old these days is it?), and has no money, really
these things shouldn’t stand in the
way of our relationship , don’t you agree?
Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood for!
the whole winter. It’s true he has other girlfriends as well but I know
he’ll be faithful to me in his own
way. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of
my dreams too. Randy taught me that
marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and he’ll be growing it for us and
we’ll trade it with our friends
for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray
that science will find a cure for
AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Your loving daughter,
At the bottom of the page were the letters “PTO”.
Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I
just wanted to remind you that
there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk
centre drawer. Please sign it and
call when it is safe for me to come home.I love U